FRIENDS-
This can't possibly be coming to an end! Oh dear! What will I do without you?? I can't thank you enough for trusting me with your precious time! I know each minute of our busy lives are important and I hope that this challenge has edified you, strengthened you and helped you feel the love that you so richly deserve to feel. I have felt it for you and from you and I know our Heavenly Father, and His Son, and the Holy Ghost feel it for you too. They have been guiding this whole process since way before it began. They have been guiding you and will continue to guide you, especially as you do the things that have brought you closer to the tree. I want to share the whole story of how I felt His love for me the day before I started this challenge and how it all came about! There are some really special moments in here that most of you have NOT heard, and some wonderful things I want you to know. I have been wanting to tell you this story from the beginning but the timing was never right, and I hope tonight it is and that you will enjoy what I have to share… but FIRST…
How is your TREE OF LIFE ART PROJECT coming?!! I hope you enjoyed the creating process and have something to remember this by! I hope so much that you will keep working on it, even if you haven't finished. I hope you will share it with us, even if it is just telling us what you did. PLEASE REPLY TO THIS EMAIL WITH A PICTURE (OR DESCRIPTION OF) YOUR TREE of Life project if you'd like me to share it with the group. If you don't want to share it, but want to send it to me… that's GREAT! Just let me know you don't want me to forward it on. No problem!
THE SURVEY is at the bottom of this email. But please keep reading before you take it!
Here is my mom's project. It's the size of a scrapbook page. I LOVE IT! Look around the edges too. The poem is one she wrote a few weeks ago. The picture of the shepherd with the lost lamb is very dear to her and the lost lamb represents our sweet Liza.
Her poem says:
THE RESCUE:
In days before
It was her I saw
The lost
The bewildered
The found
I wanted to be the shepherd
Head bowed to the ground
But now a different view I see
The rescue of all sheep
Allowing me the Tree of Life
It's fruit to freely eat
For Jesus, the Good Shepherd
Left worlds of light above
To find me with compassion
Do you see the love
Do you see the love
Isn't that beautiful?! I can't wait to see what you have created. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be YOU!!!
Here is MY STORY...
As many of you know from the emails and stories that I sent out during the last 12 weeks, I had been struggling since August with feelings of being a failure as a mother, and some major sadness and anxiety over my family and their struggles. On New Year's Eve I had made four new years resolutions, but broke the two about not eating m&m's and not drinking Diet Mtn. Dew (but I succeeded in keeping these during this challenge)! The other two (that I did keep) were to take all the games of my cell phone and attend the temple every week this year. I had been praying every single day to know that God loves me and to see myself through his eyes. I had started seeing myself more clearly as I worked on my SOUL BOOK and looked back into my childhood and saw myself as His precious daughter, and realized that the little girl was still here inside of me. I was starting to feel the love! But much more was to come...
On Sunday, January 25, I REALLY wanted to go to the temple even though it was closed and I wouldn’t be able to go inside. I had been sick all week and so I hadn't gone, but there was no way I was going to break my going-to-the-temple streak already, so I drove to the Gilbert temple and was going to count this as my temple attendance for the week. It was a beautiful cloudy day and the temperature was perfect. I got out of my car and just stared at the beautiful house of God, that I had come to love so much. Then I decided to walk all the way around the outside fence (the gates were closed). When I got to the very front, I just stopped and just gazed up at Angel Moroni and started to pray. For a long time I plead to God with all my heart, that He would let me feel His love for me and that He would help me save my children. "Please help me save my children!" I was crying and begging for His help. The sun was right behind the steeple, at the base of Moroni, and since it was so cloudy, I could practically stare right at it and Moroni as I prayed with all my heart.
Somewhere in there, during or after my prayer, a thought entered my head, like God was whispering to me, “You’re saying it backwards.” I thought about it for a minute and I realized God was trying to tell me that instead of praying for Him to help ME save my children, that I needed to remember that HE is the one that saves. I can help, but HE does the saving. I can't save them. What a concept. What truth straight from God to me and what freedom from my burden... to be reminded that He is the God, not me, He saves, and I help! I walked back to my car to read my scriptures, which is where I get so many answers and guidance, and I just knew there was more to be learned that day. But when I opened my purse to grab my scriptures, I saw that I had a reminder on my phone telling me to “Email Bob my work hours.” So, I rummaged in my purse for a piece of scratch paper to total up my hours on. The first paper that I grabbed was a full sheet, folded in fourths. As I opened it up, a small picture of the Gilbert temple slid out of it. I thought, “Oh, that’s pretty neat. That’s where I am right now!” Then I started to read the paper to see if it was something I could write on. The top of it was titled “Live the Gospel Joyful." I didn't put this in my purse and had no idea what it was, so I kept reading and these are the beautiful words that I read that day...
“My dear sisters in the gospel, whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know: You are loved. You are dear to your heavenly parents. The infinite and eternal creator of light and life knows you. He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves you this very day and always.
He is not waiting until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed- even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed, and he still loves you.
And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, he acknowledges and cherishes each one fo them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching o ut and helping others bear their heavy burdens- even when you are struggling with your own.
He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly- He knows you as you really are. And he loves you- today and always!
Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe?
He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and desire to become.
More than you could ever imagine, He wants you to achieve your destiny- to return home to your Heavenly home in honor.
I testify that the way to accomplish this is to place selfish desires and unworthy ambitions on the altar of sacrifice and service. Sisters, trust in the saving power of Jesus Christ; Keep Hi laws and commandments. In other words- live the gospel joyful.
It is my prayer that you will experience a renewed and an expanded measure of the beautiful love of God in your lives; that you will find the faith, determination, and commitment to learn God’s commandments, treasure them in your hearts, and live the gospel joyful.
I promise that as you do so, you will discover your best self- your real self. You will discover what it truly means to be a daughter of the everlasting God, the Lord of all righteousness. Of this I testify and leave you my blessing as an apostle of the Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”
I couldn’t believe the power and beauty and perfection of what I had just read! From the first sentence and the whole way through, tears were streaming down my face and my heart was full of joy! I felt as if God himself had written me a love note and tucked it in my purse for me to let me know He was there, to help me feel his love and to show me how he really saw me! He even tucked a picture of the temple in there to let me know this letter was for me on the day I was praying to him outside this very temple. HE HEARD ME!! I was completely overwhelmed by His sweet love for me. His kindness at answering me in such a cute, special and straight forward way! How could I ever deny that he hears my prayers and knows me and loves me? How could I ever forget how blessed I am? It was just a supremely wonderful moment that I will never forget.
The paper was a talk given my Apostle Dieter F. Uchtdorf at General Conference in October of 2014. My daughter, Olivia, had been given in at church during young women's either that day or the Sunday before and had put it in my purse after class. The picture of the temple was a temple schedule I had tossed in my purse the week before when I was at the temple. So special!! You can read the whole talk here: (it's so good!) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/living-the-gospel-joyful?lang=eng
The next day, Monday, Jan. 26th, was the 4 year anniversary of the day we lost my sister, Liza, to suicide. I had been feeling like I was supposed to start a new fitness (spiritual and physical) challenge again (like my previous "More Fit For the Kingdom" challenge) and I had been thinking about starting it that day, in Liza's honor, but nothing had ever come together or felt right when I tried writing out the new challenge. It felt uninspired and I knew what inspiration felt like. Interestingly… several things started to all come together as the day progressed. First, I had just bought a brand new Book of Mormon and started reading at the beginning again.
This particular Monday I was on the 8th Chapter of 1st Nephi, it is the chapter of Lehi’s dream of the Tree of Life. I didn't have time to read yet, but I knew that was going to be my topic of reading that day, so it really caught my eye that morning when looking quickly on Facebook, that Spring Thibaudeau had posted this picture an artist had created from the scripture story. I commented on her picture that i was going to be reading about Lehi's dream today too!
After work, I was standing at my craft table, and I was still thinking about running my Fit For The Kingdom Challenge again. As I stood there I thought "what I REALLY want a challenge to do for people, is to give them that same experience I had, of knowing that God loves you and seeing yourself through His eyes." Another piece to the puzzle was that earlier in the day I had been looking at my friend's website the “Brave Girls Club” and wishing I could afford to go to one of her soul healing art camps. Then I sarted thinking I would love to be able to provide something free for women (and men) that helped heal their souls the way her Soul Restoration art camps did, and better yet, the way mine had been healed by Heavenly Father... So, with all these thoughts and experiences and desires in my mind, and with the Holy Ghost's inspiration… that picture of the Tree of Life came into my mind and I realized that the tree was the LOVE OF GOD and that's I wanted to help people feel! I wanted to show them the things they can do to feel his love more fully in their lives and to see themselves through His eyes, just like I had! PLUS it was about TREES! Liza’s and my favorite thing!! It was too perfect. I said, “Lord, this seems perfect and it will be a lot of work, but I’m going to write out some ideas of weekly challenges that participants can do to grow closer to thee and see who they really are, and if there are 12 ideas, I will assume you want me to do it!” Of course, after I quickly wrote out my ideas, there were 12!! I got so incredibly excited that I hurriedly checked to see if the gmail account “Tree of Life Challenge” was available, and it was! Then I checked to see if the blogspot address “Tree of Life Challenge” was available and it was too!! So, in my excitement I announced it right then on Facebook and Instagram that I was starting a new challenge called the “Tree of Life Challenge” and I started a Facebook group too! And thus, the TREE OF LIFE CHALLENGE was born!!
It has been the biggest blessing I could possibly have imagined. The next few days I started to really hone the challenge into what it was meant to be, with the help of Katie and Maryjane, two of my sisters who have done the other challenge with me before, and my neighbor, Hillarie who had helped inspire me to start my soul book. Then I arranged the final list of the 12 weekly challenges that would be the crux of the Challenge. I arranged them and rearranged them (and prayed about it) until the fell into what felt like the perfect order!
Several weeks later when writing them out with the calendar dates connected, I realized that the week I had chosen to focus on the Savior and the atonement, was the week that leads up to EASTER Sunday and General Conference! That’s what week it is right now (I started writing this a few weeks ago). And it is lovely, but has been a hard week. The Lord though has been carrying me. And I love him so very very much and I am so grateful that he has been the one constant in my life that I can go to and trust no matter what. Right now the song “Beautiful Savior” is playing on the Mormon Channel. Perfect.
It also has been amazing to see the blessing the challenge has been in so many lives. My own, the participants and my son, Rustin’s included. It blows my mind how one thing can touch so many people with the Spirit and teach them what they need to learn in the time and way that is perfect for them. One woman, Mary Cavenee, told me that she knew the challenge was for her when she saw it because she had been praying that very week for God to please help her feel his love in her life. Amazing! Dan Brimhall had just opened a letter from his wife who had passed away exactly one year earlier (on Jan. 4th) and she had admonished him to "be aggressively happy" and this was the perfect fit. YES!! :) I love you Kathy!
When Rustin decided to go on a mission and went to mission prep. his first time there, the lesson was on “The Tree of Life” and Lehi’s dream! What an amazing tender mercy. He wasn't even doing the challenge, but he felt His love!
My first time back in the temple after creating the challenge, I opened the Book of Mormon in the celestial room to see what the Lord might have me share with the group that week and I opened to Alma 32, which I knew was a chapter on faith, but it talks about planting the seed in our hearts. Seeds to our own Tree of Life that we can have in our hearts!
28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.
40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.
41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.
It has been a huge blessing to me! During the music week, I was preparing to teach a class on “Bringing Light and Clarity Into My Life” for the stake Women’s Conference. I was so helpful and inspirational to have music and not noise all around me. It was pretty special too that I was asked to give a talk that was so perfectly aligned with the journey I had been on, and was still on, about getting closer to the TREE of LIFE and feeling God’s love and finding that Clarity to see who we really are!
And finally, during general conference on Easter Sunday, there was an incredibly perfect talk called "Stay By the Tree" by Elder Kevin W. Pearson all about the TREE OF LIFE and the things we can do to successfully endure to the end on our journey of life! He talked about PRAYER first and SCRIPTURE study "every day, every day, every day!" and much more! How incredible! I got texts from several people during the talk.. "A Tree of Life talk!!" I was freaking out. It was the BEST!
So I want to thank you so much for being part of this most wonderful project of Heavenly Father's that He allowed me to be a part of with you. It was about YOU finding Him, and His beloved Son, and reaching out to Him so He can show you that he is already there and that he loves you! I truly hope you got a glimpse of yourself through His eyes and that you soaked it all in. You are absolutely and totally cherished by God, our Father, and by His Son who suffered and died for you. You have been blessed with many talents that will grow and develop and bless your life and the lives of others, especially as you use them in service. No one can replace you. No one can do the things that you were sent here to do. You are just amazing! I have felt the love and compassion from so many of you and have grown so much by learning from your experiences. So have the rest of our group! I hear over and over again from you how much you love each others' stories!! I hope you know that you have been touching lives all throughout this! Especially mine. I love you so much!
Please STAY BY THE TREE!! Here is the end of his inspired talk...
If you are struggling, confused, or spiritually lost, I urge you to do the one thing I know will get you back on track. Begin again to prayerfully study the Book of Mormon and live its teachings every day, every day, every day! I testify of the profound power in the Book of Mormon that will change your life and strengthen your resolve to follow Christ. The Holy Ghost will change your heart and help you see “things as they really are.”12He will show you what you need to do next. This is Nephi’s promise to you:
“And I said unto them … whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.
“Wherefore, I … did exhort them … that they would give heed to the word of God and remember to keep his commandments always in all things.”13
Brothers and sisters, enduring to the end is the great test of discipleship. Our daily discipleship will determine our eternal destiny. Awaken unto God, cling to truth, keep your sacred temple covenants, and stay by the tree!
I love you all more than words can express!!
Here is the SURVEY: https://docs.google.com/forms/
Please take it tonight or tomorrow and Please take it even if you didn't do the whole challenge!!! I will send out the results and pictures of the tree of life projects on Tuesday! Have a great Monday!
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